Wrapping myself up in a sweet sweet sugar blanket...

Pardon the abrasive start ~ I'm going to tell you right now... No.  Life is NOT about everything in moderationNot for an addict.  I mean it.  It just isn't.

Would you offer a recovering alcoholic a glass of vintage wine, insisting that it's one of the best?  And it's okay, because it is just one glass.  Everything in moderation.  Would you share a hit with a recovering drug addict?  It's okay.  One hit won't hurt.  Everything in moderation.  It worked for Charlie Sheen, right? Wrong.  So why do we shrug off food like it is any lighter of a subject?  Why is food so much more personal, so much more difficult to understand, and why is it so hard to for people to conceive as ever being a problem?  We all have to eat.  We don't have to drink or do drugs to survive.  But we do have to eat.  And that's where the challenge becomes even greater for those who struggle with addiction.

I am not a microbiologist, a neurologist, a nutritionist, or any sort of digestive scientist.  I am speaking to you as an every day person.  A woman that has increasingly struggled with food as I have gotten older... and after doing my own research and reading journal article after blog article after news article... have come to accept that sugar is an addictive substance.  It is a drug.  It creates the same reward response in our brains as any other addictive substance (or activity).  And the more we consume, the more we NEED to consume to satisfy the addiction...  To get the same sensation of satisfaction.  In case y'all didn't see the 60 Minutes special, here's a video I was so excited to see hit mainstream prime time news media:

I could never understand why my sugar binges continued to get worse as I got older... and I realized that no longer was "just one bite" ever enough anymore.  Since I got back from my three week coast to coast adventure, recuperating my healthy eating habits has been tough.  Since I got back, there were additional challenges stacked onto the already emotionally draining events that Matt and I had just been through.  And they seemed to continue to pile up.  I was eating my usual Paleo foods, but in great excess.  And I was relying on way too much fruit to get by.  That pesky pineapple was the dirty trigger... Then in the course of two days, that pineapple turned into a tortilla and corn chips.  And a cup of hot chocolate.  And quite soon - none of that was enough.  Instead of focusing on the real life issues that were causing me pain and grief, I was jonesin' for my next treat.  In & Out Neapolitan shake... cookies... a pint of ice cream.  My mind was otherwise preoccupied with what horrible bite of food I could consume next.

Any of you that may have addictions or addictive tendencies may probably understand.  That's why it is best to avoid it altogether - because it only takes one bite, one smoke, one bet... you name it... before the downward spiral sucks you in and it gets harder and harder to make your way back out.

Mentally, things are a little more settled for me.  Once I lay off the food and force myself to feel the uncomfortable discomfort yuckiness that is going on - it makes it a little easier to tackle the problems head on.  Since I've not been thinking much about eating healthy, I haven't put a lot of time into meal planning these past two weeks.  Even grocery shopping this weekend wasn't nearly as fun as usual... and it didn't help that Whole Foods produce selection was so paltry and disappointing.  I'll be heading to Ben's Corner later this week to stock up on a few more brightly colored spring delicacies.

What I AM motivated about this week is the start of a new 7 week strength cycle up at Murphy's Barbell Club.  I felt great during the last cycle in January/February and am really looking forward to seeing what I can accomplish during this next round.  I have a few self-experiments in the works and I'll be keeping notes offline until I actually have (or don't have) something worthwhile to report.

So there ya go - a nice little bit of Tuesday morning venting.  For those of you who might be able to understand what I'm talking about... I hope I was able to bring a new layer of what is happening inside your body and brain to light.  For those of you who insist on offering me a Twinkie... certain that it won't kill me - one, you're completely wrong and two, please think about my words before you snap to judge those of us that are truly struggling on the inside. 

I'm forever grateful I've transitioned my life over to a Paleo way of eating... and living.  It has brought about a much greater level of awareness of what is truly going on inside.  Without creating an absence of a toxic substance, it is impossible to really identify the results of that substance when it becomes part of us again.  I feel blah.  I feel sick.  I feel bloated.  And worst of all - I feel numb.

Time to get outside again.  I think those rabbits might have gotten a little too lazy over the weekend.

1 comment:

  1. Ha!...In n Out neopolitan shakes...what, that's genius!! JK ;)

    It's nice to know there are people out there that can empathize with our own process and help keep us centered