Seek comfort in the chaos...

"To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often."
~ Winston Churchill

I am a creature of habit.  I am like the poster child for the term "creature of habit."  I like my routine.  And once I'm in it, don't jostle anything around because my world will rapidly spin into a decaying pile of chaos and anyone close to me is at risk of being struck by a piece or two of emotional shrapnel.

What is strange, however, is that as much as I enjoy having a set pattern to my days - I am always looking for my own way to shuffle things up.  In my quest to "kaizen" my life, I find I am always recreating.  Recreating a plan, a routine, a strategy... recreating myself.  When I exited the work force early last year, it was the first time since college I didn't have a purpose for waking up in the morning.  So I went back to school.  I immersed myself in studying and practicing until every day of every week, all I thought about was anatomy and massage modalities.

When I completed school late last fall, I fell right back into my lack of routine.  I turned my focus to cooking, meal planning, honing in on the medical nutrition part of Paleo, and consistently getting my rear end handed to me at Murphy's Barbell Club.  I planted my garden and every morning I'd get out in the yard and tinker.  I liked that routine.  And it opened a lot of doors.  I got much healthier in a short amount of time and the best part was my back squat was well on its way to 200 pounds.

Enter the nagging feeling to do something MORE.  A resume went out.  A phone call came back.  Next thing I know, I'm in new hire orientation.  Eek - the working world all over again?  The prospect of recreating a whole new routine started to sink in and the emotional shrapnel started to fly... How am I going to arrange my days?  When will I get to work on my back squat?  I won't be able to spend my days in the kitchen preparing dinners for Matt and planning meals for the coming days.  When will I be able to write blog updates to my loyal and loving fans?  (Insert dramatic stage kisses here)

In the anticipation and fear of something big, something new... I've fallen head first into a pint or two of Ben & Jerry's.  And what I've noticed is that it is a lot harder to think clearly, get my priorities and tasks lined up, and really charge forward when I'm not fueling my body properly.  How can I plan appropriately and take action when my joints are achy, I have a headache, and pants are snug?  I can't.  So if there's one lesson that needs to permanently embed itself in my brain - it is to keep the nutrients and food quality in check during the greatest times of stress in order to avoid adding unnecessary physical and emotional stress to the situation.

So here I go again.  Establishing yet another new routine.  Stitching new shiny filaments of thread into the cloth of which I am made.  Dealing with all of it appropriately, healthily, and with a clear head.  I've done this many times before.  I have the confidence I can do this again.

Perhaps the constant changing of routines IS my routine... and it is the chaos and upheaval in which I seek comfort.

(Paleo) food for thought.

Enjoy your weekend, friends!  Get out, enjoy the sunshine, and try something completely new!

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